faith and fear

So I dont usually write about things that have a lot of personal meaning in my life...I usually make light of things and joke..but for selfish reasons to benefit myself and help me grow i am going to write down some feelings...soo first of all..to come out and just say it..i have issues driving..yess issues..i don't like it..well lets be clear..i simply hate it..i won't go into detail as to why..i gotta have some secrets in my life right lol..but it has never been something that has been easy for me...i would have to say it is the one thing that seems to hold me back from everything..it makes me feel small and stupid that i cant just go out and take my kids some where fun...at times i feel like its a permeant handicap that i can never and will never get rid of..even talking about it i start to feel very down on myself and feel like there is simply no hope for me...it was one of the most difficult things for me to do to get my license..i didnt even think that was possible for me..but i know the lord was the only reason for my accomplishing it..but since that time I have not used it and have made myself feel like i was never going to be able to use it again..so with that said..i bring you to my little lunch time today with my kids..logan was in his swing and Joy and i were eating sandwiches..i couldnt find my ensign i was reading so i grabbed a different one...probably total inspiration..i flipped through it until i came across the talk Faith in the Lord Jesus Christ by Elder Kevin W Pearson..and as I read it nothing really came to my mind other then the fact that it was just a good talk.. i was reading it out loud to Joy and it talked about how you need to teach your children that with Faith in the lord anything is possible..So I had Joy repeat that..and then I came to a spot where he says something along the lines of do your children know that with faith in the lord anything is possible by your example?? Do they feel your conviction of your testimony..?? and things started to pop in my head..Why am I telling my child that with faith anything is possible when I am not living that...He also stated that Faith requires an attitude of exact obedience, even in small things..Desire, Hope, and belief he says are all forms of faith...all that ran through my mind was..with my little issue..I had none of these feelings..i felt fear.. and then he went on and told a story about Jesus saying to this father that "If thou canst believe, all things are possible to him that believeth"  and then he said..Faith and Fear cannot coexist..and I have heard that before but it never hit me like it did when i read it this time..and he went on..asking the question.."Is my own net faith positive or negative?? and then he said.there are forces that can erode our faith...and you can just guess WHO he said was behind that...yess Satan..he talked about doubt, discouragement, disbelief and how he called them part of his six destructive D's all coming from Satan..and then he finished his talk saying..We can CHOOSE to avoid and overcome them.. I have never thought of my "issue" in this way before...how I did not put faith in the lord in helping me overcome this huge obstacle in my life...i simply gave in to the doubt, discouragement and the disbelief that this was how i was to live because it was simply not possible for me to overcome my situation because it was too big and impossible..but reading this talk today has opened my eyes..and i see my sweet Joy how she believes so fully everything i tell her and teach her..and i know now that I need to become as a child...and become teachable..i need to push Satan aside and tell him he cannot try to control my life that i will overcome this hardship in my life because i want to be able to be free of this..i need faith......soo i am going to try...really try..to become more reliable on the lord and i am going to overcome this..i know i will be happier....i know it has to be possible....so there is my little light bulb experience..i know i am not the only one out there going through things that are hard and seem impossible..but i know that it can and will be possible to overcome them with Faith in the lord Jesus Christ..